ThAnKfUl Beyond Imagination!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving day. You remember...it's the day when the stuffed turkey is consumed and the consumers are stuffed. It's the day when football overwhelms even the most fanatic fan and afternoon naps become mandatory activities. It's a day for family, friends and friends and family. And it's a day to remember all the ways we have been blessed...even when there are things in life that don't seem like such a blessing.
As I reflect on all that I have to be thankful for I am quickly overwhelmed. I have an amazing wife who, for almost 35 years has made sure I've been #1 in her life. I've watched as she cared for our children, consoled friends and laughed at my stupid jokes. There is not a man alive that has been more blessed by his wife than I have! It's true...I married WAY above my head!!!
I have three children who, in spite of my best efforts and poor parenting skills have become GREAT people. Each one contributes to the welfare of their community and works hard on a daily basis. They are awesome aunts and uncle and even better parents. But more than that, they actually think I am a great dad.
I have siblings that still talk with each other and actually share the same parents. Each one of them has lived a life full of giving and honoring our parents in the only way we know how.
My aged parents (91 & 90) celebrate their 71st wedding anniversary today, the day before Thanksgiving. They passed on to me a fundamental faith in God and respect for authority that has kept me out of prison and gainfully employed for the 53 years of my life. Their example of how to love gave me the foundation for my own marriage and parenthood mistakes.
But above all of that...I have a God that loved me enough to die for me. Instead of striking me dead for defying Him, He became a man so He could better understand why I do what I do. Then He allowed Himself to be killed so that He and I could have a relationship!
I'm telling you...life does NOT get any better than that! Friends and family, family and friends...all brought together because God gave Himself. Thank you Jesus for loving me in spite of myself!

Answers

Someone has correctly said, "Be careful what you ask for!" Well, I asked for an answer and I got it...unfortunately it wasn't the answer I was expecting OR wanting. But it is an answer and I will find a way to "rejoice and be glad in it". I trust that my God has something else in store for me, perhaps right where I'm living and working...and whatever it is will be better than what we ever imagined.
I had to smile when I got the call that they had chosen someone else. It's almost as if we had made an assumption that there wasn't anyone but us that could fill that position. As I look back on it I see the folly of that notion. There was nothing else that I could have done to make the outcome different. Oh sure, I could play the game like Abraham did and force the answer I wanted (even though that sounds very arrogant as I write it), but then it would have been my answer instead of God's.
For all of you who have been praying for and about us, thank you. Keep the prayers going as you move through your busy schedules. Keep on talking with our great God about my attitude and my work. I need your prayers just as I'm certain you need mine. And if you happen to be in the Rockford, IL area, we'd love to see you!

Waiting...waiting...waiting

What an amazing weekend we had! We got to meet Christians in Lewisville, TX who opened their arms to us and made us feel very much at home. They listened intently, asked great questions and didn't seem intimidated to answer our questions at all. We got to spend time looking over the area AND even got a few minutes with Crystal! What a blessing to hear what's going on in her life and her EXCITING news. Congrats my dear daughter (You can check her blog to get the news...)
Now we get to wait a little longer to determine what's next in our life. It could be that God has chosen for nothing to change for us...or it could be that there are changes in store. Either way I have been blessed beyond measure by getting to spend some time getting to know even more Christians.
Thank you Lord for giving us such an AWESOME family!

Closer?

It's been an interesting few months. Several of my close friends are without work due to layoffs with the downturn in the economy. Some have been without work for several months. Some are starting to pick up some interviews and some have actually gotten jobs. Through all of this I've been bouncing back and forth with my own decisions about the future. As each day passes I come closer to my final choice and more sure of the decision that's been made. Now for the more difficult part of this whole process...waiting until it's final and official. As I draw closer to being closer I'm reminded that my God wants just exactly that...for me to draw closer to Him in every way. So with that no so subtle reminder my prayer is simple...Draw me nearer, nearer, nearer precious Lord. Allow me to be at peace with Your time frame and Your amazing love and care.

UGGGGHHHH!

I suppose that waiting has never been my strong suit. It probably isn't high on anyone's list of things most liked. Right now I'm finding myself very impatient with waiting for an answer. Frankly, it's not very becomming of me to show such little patience...but honesty must prevail as I open my life for others to see.
Do you remember as a kid how long it was from one birthday to the next? Do you recall having to wait until Christmas came to get to open the presents under the tree? Well, that's what I'm experiencing right now. I think I know the answer to what I'm waiting for. But until that answer comes it's hard not be anxious.
Yes, I know, the Lord told us not be anxious or worry about anything. Yes, I'm aware that patience is one of the ingredients of the fruit of the Spirit. That doesn't mean that I've mastered the art of waiting without undue concern. I thought I'd gotten better at that until now...It's been less than 2 weeks since my last contact and for some reason I think they should have made a decision by now.
Even as I write this post I recognize how silly it is to so impatient. A decision is being made concerning the welfare of two churches. That can't be taken lightly! That's it! It's not about me at all. Whether or not I am the one chosen to take a particular position is up to God and the men He has entrusted with that decision. I WILL wait for the Lord! (But I sure do wish He'd hurry and let me know what that decision is!)

Torn Between Two

There's a song from the past that describes a particular dilemma for me. The song is, "Torn Between Two Lovers". NO...I'm not torn between the love of my life, my wife of almost 35 years and someone else! I am completely, totally, head over heals in love with her! Instead it has to do with my feelings about my work.
Life's cirucumstances have pushed me to the point of wondering where I can best serve. As my parents, and Sue's, decline in health would it be best for me to be closer to them? As our grandchidren grow and get involved in new things, would it be good to be close enough to them so that we could be part of those things? OR...is it better to stay where we are and long to be closer to those who are most important to us?
The real question isn't about where we can be most effective in our work. I believe God will use us wherever we are. The real question is whether or not we are willing to continue sacrificing being close (physically) to family and remain in a "comfortable" place to work. (Comfortable is relative depending on what time of year we are experiencing.)
We've prayed about it and prayed about it. No decision is imminent as far as I can tell. Just exactly what is it that I'm looking for? Am I expecting God to open the sky and boom out the answer? Not exactly...but I do expect to hear His calling very clearly. I believe as time passes and churches consider us and we consider them, the answer will be very clear.
In the meantime, I remain torn between two...waiting expectantly for the answer to my dilemma.

Contemplating

A few days with my terminally ill father has me contemplating life again. That's not necessarily a bad thing but it does take a lot of energy. Here are some conclusions that I've come to (even though some are rather obvious and may seem trite)...
1) Life is WAY too short. 2) Make sure the last words others hear from you are positive, they may be the last words you speak. 3) Tell the ones you love that you love them...often! You may not get that chance again. 4) Treat your children with respect. They will be the ones making decisions for you when you're old. 5) Cherish the moments you have with the people you love. They are gone way to fast. 6) Record (either in writing or better still in A/V form) the stories you got tired of hearing. You'll treasure the words, and the way they were spoken when that loved one is gone. 7) Pay attention to the lessons you are taught, in word and deed. You'll need to draw on them in a crisis. 8) Share your struggles with others. Their prayers are priceless bits of hope in times of darkness. 9) Talk with God about what hurts. He understands in a unique way and will find a way to give you strength and comfort (even if you don't want to accept it). 10) NEVER pass up the opportunity to see your parents. They WILL NOT live forever.
I am blessed beyond comprehension because of the prayers, thoughts and well-wishes of my friends and Christian family. As my Daddy approaches his final days, I have found comfort in his wisdom, his character and his trust. I can only hope that as he breathes his last I can exhibit the same character of love and faith.

How Great is Our God!

Recent visits to churches outside my own usual stomping grounds have reminded me how truly universal our great God is. These churches, at somewhat differing ends of the theological continuum are filled with people who love each other and want to live for the Lord. They take different approaches, sing songs in different ways and express their praise for God in varying ways, but they show that they truly love God.
I can't help but find some great comfort in that idea. We have historically (since the great fall in the Garden) shoved God into a box that fits our concept of what He ought to be and how He should behave. That box is defined by our own experiences, education, pre-conceived ideas and selfish desires. But when it comes right down to it when we put Him in our box we cut off His great power. When we stop to think about the implications of each of His children putting God in their own little box, it's a wonder that He is able to work in this world at all. After all, each of us limit His ability in our own way.
I don't believe we'll ever get to the point where we allow Him completely out of a box. I don't think we have that ability. Our minds are way too limited, our personal struggles far too great and our selfishness so exceptionally stubborn that probably the best we can hope for is to expand that box to give Him more room to work.
Perhaps the answer to our growing discontent in the church is to find where our boxes overlap. What are the things we can all agree on that God is capable of doing? Are there some limits that others have removed that we could live with? How have larger boxes for God helped other people to be more compassionate, more loving or more accepting of differences? Are there some limits we have relaxed that allow others to see God more clearly? All these questions and so many more could help us to lower the barriers that keep us, God's children, from enjoying the fellowship He has in mind for us...and frankly they might even let us be happy with the life God has given us regardless of what's taking place in that life.

Happies from God

I'm often surprised by people's responses to some of my sermons. Frankly there are times when I wonder if anyone is listening. It's at those times when someone happens to "pop up" and tell me how something I said has changed their life. It came this last Sunday from a lady who said, "you turned on a light bulb for me" with a sermon from two or three weeks ago.

I suppose that what surprises me most is that God has chosen to use ME as a tool to reach some hearts. After all, I know what's in my own heart better than anyone. It's humbling to think that God can take the person I know and make something good for someone else out of him. That gives me more hope than a hundred sermons ever could.

I believe that God finds pleasure in giving us what my Ministry Assistant calls "happies". The little reminders that He's still working in our lives, the thank you's from people you didn't know were paying attention, the hugs when you need them the most. He finds pleasure in that because He knows it will ultimately cause us to say "thank you" to Him.

I pray that YOU will experience a happy from God today. I hope you will be able to see it for what it really is...God's reminder that YOU are important to Him and the people He's put around you!

Forgiveness and Acceptance

A quick review of Matthew 18:15-17 reveals the fundamentals of how to work out issues between people. The principle is pretty simple...when you have an issue with what someone has said or done, talk to them about it. Of course there are other instructions there that help to clarify what should happen if sinful actions are involved and the person won't listen to you. But that's not my point here.
I've found that when I am bold enough to actually follow this principle I am usually greeted with understanding, acceptance and even a free flow of communication. That doesn't mean that there is always agreement about the issue. But at least when one on one exchange takes place there is mutual understanding and often a much better relationship as a result.
There are times that perhaps I'm too bold in addressing those disagreements. I hope that can be forgiven as people understand my motive. I try hard not to press others to believe the same way I do about something. In fact, I've been proven wrong about many things and have changed my mind because of the free flowing communication that resulted from one on one conversations.
When it comes to forgiveness the absolute best way to handle it is one on one conversation that reveals the heart. Hopefully that kind of interaction and exchange will lead to acceptance between individuals even when they disagree with each other.

Moving Forward

What does it mean to move forward? In the strictest sense it means not to move backward or to the side. But sometimes, in order to overcome an obstacle that stands in the way of progress we have to back up and try a different route.
For instance, when I was on a field exercise with a forward operating radar unit we were assigned the task of taking a particular spot of ground that would be used as our base of operations. We were only about 300 yards from the site but were faced with thick woods and a rather daunting crevasse between us and that open spot. After some initial reconnaissance it became obvious that the best way to accomplish our goal was to back out of our position and find another entrance from a different direction. While it took us a long time to gain that ground, the alternate route proved more than acceptable for the vehicles that would follow and the ability to defend our route.
As I look at the challenges that face my own spiritual growth I often find that the best way to move forward is to retreat, reconsider and re-attack. Perhaps it entails a new look at an old passage. Maybe it means finding a different place to serve. Or it could even mean going over the same ground with a renewed purpose.
The truth is, my spiritual progress is slow at best. But it is NOT dependent on me always moving forward. It IS based however on whether or not I'm willing to allow the Lord to be the Point Man. He, after all, has the eternal GPS that shows the best route to the destination.
My Lord and my God, lead me in the paths of righteousness that You have prepared. Help me to remain focused on the footprints You have set and to trust Your directions. Help me to be a willing follower as You carry me through the places I cannot navigate. Allow me Lord to humbly accept the pace and direction You have cast. Amen.

God is good!

Anthony Washington started it for me...God is good...all the time. All the time...God is good. Those words take on special meaning for me as I struggle with several aspects of life and ministry. They aren't just words to be repeated by a congregation or a trite saying to make us feel better. They are words that help me to remember, particularly when life isn't so grand, the fact that God continues to take care of me, to carry me, to give me unconditional love and accept me because I am His child.
The reminder of God's goodness has come to me in several ways over the past couple of weeks. It came in a ministry couples retreat Sue and I got to be part of in the Texas Hill Country. There we connected with others engaged in ministry and shared our heart for the most amazing work on earth. But we also shared our sorrows and struggles in that same work. We made connections that sometimes are never made. We were guided by 4 amazing couples who love God more than anything else and at least acted like they loved us almost as much.
It came in the form of service to my 91 year old father who is now anticipating his eternal reward. Even though he is obviously dying, he is still gracious enough to give God thanks every day for the life he's been given, the family he has and the "good health" to enjoy it all.
It came in the eyes of a dear friend who said "I do" to the man of her dreams and danced all the way down the aisle after the ceremony. And it came in the hugs and conversation with dear friends who have never judged us by our mistakes but have loved us because we are family.
Yes...GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME!!! It's a saying worth repeating often.

WOW!!!

What a month April was. A quick trip to Waco to see my parents, a first meeting with my two newest grandchildren, a wild ride in the leadership arena of a local congregation and a longer visit with my newest grandchild all added up to a rather interesting month. May will be just about the same as my son and daughter-in-law bring their 5 month old son to visit around Mother's Day, I'll spend some time in central Texas in a Ministry Couples Sabbatical, a few more days with my parents and a wedding for a very special young lady.

All of that activity is a constant reminder that God has some pretty amazing things in store if we'll let Him show them to us. Holding those grandchildren makes the troubling issues of life melt away! How did God know that those precious little boys and girls would heal the wounds of heartache and struggle? The fact is...there is no better therapy for me than to watch as these brand new people learn about the world they've been brought in to. There are days that you can almost watch them change before your very eyes.

Weddings are another arena of life that I've found to be mostly enjoyable. While I would prefer NOT to be the one officiating I do get a thrill as I hear a man and a woman publicly promise their faithfulness and proclaim their love for one another. At the moment they are pronounced "husband and wife" a new family is created. When it is blessed by the God of heaven it is a union that is sealed by the Creator and destined to be a place full of peace, understanding and love as they work together in their God made home.

Even though I am challenged by the impending death of my father I am still able to find blessing in the sunset of life. After 91 years of living he has total trust in the Lord of lords. I can still hear his words of encouragement ringing in my ears. Words that taught me total respect for God and His creation. Words that helped me to understand the need for a Savior. Words that corrected my missteps, proved his love and nurtured so many people. The blessing of and responsability for a godly family rested squarely at his feet and he rose far above the challenge. Sometimes he was mistreated. At least three times he fought off cancer. But ultimately he proved by the way he loved that God was the focus of his life.

As a leadership crisis continues to brew in the congregation I serve I find myself challenged to remain above the fray. It's so easy to get caught up in the petty bickering, far too often looking at the flaws of those God has ordained to be leaders. I've found great blessing in working to help those leaders rise to the occassion, to confess their faults, consult God and move beyond the divisive voices. Frankly, I don't know if that will succeed. But I can rest well each night knowing that I've done all I could to help them help themselves.

Through all of this I am learning a new trust in my Savior. I'm hearing all over again His call to carry His yoke and burden instead of trying to take it all on myself. I'm learning what it means to "be still and know" that He is God. I'm also getting to see the good in those who previously I've counted as roadblocks to growth.

Lord, help me to see the blessings of each moment as you lay them in front of me. Help me to be a servant in the mold of the greatest Servant of all! Amen.

Sad Day

Tonight I watched as a dear friends dad took his last breath. My heart hurts for her. I know she's tried so hard to hang on to him, to let him know how much she loves him...I know she is empty tonight as she longs to be able to say it one more time.
My ability to comfort her however is very limited. I can't be there for the funeral because of prior committments. I can't participate like her dad had asked sicne I'll be gone...but there is something I can say that will be a constant reminder to her...MA, I love you. You are a very dear friend. Please know that I'll continue to talk to God about you and for you in the days that come.

Thank you Lord for friends. Thank you for life. Thank you for MA and her Dad and for giving her one last chance to say, "I love you"!

Blessings Beyond Measure!!!

As I think about my life and family I can't begin to express my amazement at how blessed I am. My wife is the model of support, love and strength. My children are all productive members of our society, not afraid of hard work and convinced that God is central to their success. My parents have lived far beyond current life-expectations and my in-laws continue to be among my hero's in the faith.
Beyond that I have now been blessed with SEVEN grandchildren. Four of those seven are actually related to me by blood. Three have been inherited through a new son-in-law who proves daily how much he loves one of my daughters.
The Psalmist wrote, "Don't you see that children are God's best gift? They are the fruit of his legacy. Like a warrior's fistful of arrows are the children of a vigorous youth. Oh, how blessed are you parents with your quivers full of children!" (Psalm 127:3-5a, The Message) I am learning more and more each day the truth of those words.

Thank you great Lord for blessing me with children and grandchildren. Help me to be the kind of father and grandfather that cares more for their souls than anything else. Help me to spoil them with true AGAPE love and to shower them in the grace that is Yours alone to give.

Questions...Always Questions

How do you determine what God's will really is? Does it matter to Him where or how you serve as long as you serve? What is the responsibility of the children when it comes to adult parents? How can we ever know for sure what God has in mind for us?

Those questions contiune to swirl in my head as I look from a distance at my parents health concerns, my grandchildren growing and my children settling in to their lives. Frankly I don't know how to completely discern what God is trying to tell me. I'm not sure I WANT to know what he's saying.

Over the past few weeks I've fallen more and more in love with the Psalms. The writers of those wonderful bits of poetry continue to challenge me to have a right relationship with my God. So many times they "hit the nail on the head" with how I'm feeling. Sometimes it's hopeless...sometimes it's higher than the clouds...sometimes it's just plain confused.

For years I have steered away from the Shepherd's Psalm (23) because I believe it has been misused, abused and overused. But the truth of the matter is, I've looked at it all over again and it speaks to how I need God to handle me.

I can't always say honestly, "The Lord is my Shepherd" because I don't always allow Him to "lead me in green pastures". Sometimes I try to fill my own cup, choose my own pastures, pick my own waters. But every once in a while, when I'm feeling particularly vulnerable, I allow "his rod and staff to comfort me". When I do amazing peace comes over me.

I know why...it's because His guiding hand is the only hand that can truly lift me up. It's because He has already scouted the path, chosen the place and prepared the pastures. He's has already walked the valley and defeated the only enemy ever to really exist. Now if I can just allow myself to let His victory keep me in the shadow of His love.

As I make decisions about the future...as I continue to ask the questions and wonder about what is right I can boldly proclaim, "The Lord is my Shepherd, I will NOT be in want!"

Thank You Lord for continuing to lead me even when I don't want to be led.

Life's Lesson

Over the last few weeks I've come face to face with yet another reality of life. My mentor, the man I've trusted for my entire life, the one who gave me life and the fundamentals of my faith has begun the slow but certain trek toward eternal rest...better known as death. The stark reminder, so close to my own heart, that life is fleeting has shaken me to the core. The man who once towered over me has been reduced to a feeble skeleton of a man with barely enough strength or stability to stand. Being unable to communicate with my father is probably the hardest part of his decline. While his mind remains sharp his hearing has degenerated to the poinnt that he can't distinguish my voice on the phone. Oh how I long to hear his voice...that voice that carries love in every word. That voice that has scolded, told dumb jokes and generally imparted the wisdom of life for every single day of my life.
I remember the first time I heard the word "cancer". I was seven years old and it was used in the same sentence with my Dad's name. Yes, he fought colon cancer in the early 1960's...and won. I'll never forget his instruction not to wrap a rope around your hand when handling a young steer or heifer, only to ignore his own advice and gain a broken hip. But through it all there was always the same sound of wisdom, wit and amazing, unconditional love.
Now, in his final moment of teaching, in the last days of his time in this realm he is teaching me the greatest lesson of all. That lesson? The same one the Lord taught when He answered the lawyer. "The greatest commandment is this; love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul and all your mind. And the second is just like the first, love your neighbor as yourself." With every breath my dad glorifies God. With every thought he praises his fellow man. With every action he reminds me that no matter what, I am his son and he is my hero! I love you Daddy!!!

Signs

I have a sign in my office that reads: "God works to create a distinct community to participate in His life for the sake of the world" (Mark Love, 2005).
Another one that I see constantly in my confines is: "Eagles don't flock~you have to find them one at a time."
Yet another one says, "Vision~A clear and challenging picture of the future of a ministry as you believe that it can and should be" (Aubrey Malphurs, 1999).
Frankly, I'm not sure what those three things have to do with each other. But each one represents something that is important to me personally, and I believe to the church that I serve.
Mark Love's statement is a constant reminder that it is God working in this place to bring us to Him. In creating a distinct community (the church) He has chosen the venue through which people are exposed to and offered salvation. Perhaps we need to be reminded of why we exist. Maybe we need to see that sign on every door, window and seat in the man made edifices we call "church".
The eagle phrase is a constant reminder to me of the fact that true friends are those whom I have chosen to allow into my inner circle. They aren't a result of the gathering of 300 or so worshippers on Sunday. Instead, after searching the motives and characteristics of various people, I am able to feel safe when in their presence. So it is in the realm of the church. Congregations of God's people distinguish themselves by their actions, their daily activities. Do they show Jesus for who He is or do they trumpet how "great" that body of people is? Very few pass the eagle test.
Malphur's definition of Vision is one that greets me as I enter my office each day. It is a constant reminder that part of my task is to look beyond the walls of my office, foyer and sanctuary and be led by God to see what His church CAN be. He is the One that has placed us where we are...now it's our turn to find out how to make it work. The process is constantly challenging and sometimes painful. But it is always worth chasing. When I am able to catch a glimpse of God's vision for me and for this body, I have experienced a piece of heaven.

Grateful for Friends

God is good...all the time. He puts people in our lives that lift us up when we're down. He places friends and family in just the right place at the right time to "check up" on us and keep our heads where they're supposed to be. Yes, all the time...God is good.
Thanks for your concern, love and support! So many people are "on our side". It's hard NOT to see how God blesses me through them.
By the way...when we are at our lowest, we often need nothing more than to stop digging. :o)

Unsure, Unsteady

Ok...so 2009 has come in all it's glory. We are experiencing record breaking cold in northern Illinois and I'm confused...again. If you remember I came back to northern Illinois to pick up my work with a church I'd left after 3 years of work with them. I was gone for 8 months when I returned with great fanfare and enthusiasm from the members here. I left behind the single most satisfying ministry work I've ever been involved in to return here. I had the full support and encouragement of godly men as Shepherds and the friendship of many Christians. Except for my own personal failure to fit in to the community it was perfect.
But "home" called. The place that Sue felt most comfortable came knocking with promises of changes in the leadership style and focus, along with an amazing ministry with a volunteer Fire Department as a Chaplain. So I left Tallahassee, FL to come back to the north country and pick-up my ministry where I left off.
So after 9 months back it has become obvious that the leadership wasn't really ready to change...they simply wanted someone to "fill the empty ministry place" and not help them move forward. In fact, as it has turned out, the frustrations have been far worse than what I experienced toward the end of my first stint here. I honestly wonder how long they will "put up" with my pushing and prodding to move ahead and become the people God has called us to be.
All of this serves as a real assault on my sense of well being. I love ministry. I enjoy the challenges it brings. I believe God has given me a talent that allows me to challenge people in a way that helps them to become better. My Fire Department work defines who I am and helps me to remain well grounded and aware of what's really happening outside the walls of the church.
So...what's the answer? I think I've found the answer but I'm not sure I want to follow through. God has a plan. He will reveal it when He is good and ready. In the mean time what I can do is continue to give my energy and effort to helping the people of this congregation become true servants. God will move me when He's ready for me to go. He will provide the relief that I need when the time is right.
Lord, help me to see what you have in store for me. Help me to accept my proper place in life and in Your kingdom.